Getting closer to Mother's Day becomes taxing for me mentally and emotionally simply because of the relationship I have with the loves of my life. I have lived the last 32 years of my life with the experience of feeling like a non-mothered mother and today I can fully articulate the fact that I really dislike the commercial celebration of a holiday that puts emphasis on celebrating mothers (or celebrating any human holiday like birthdays, fathers or, mothers day). I'm 100% sure my dislike of these holidays are genuinely based upon my entire upbringing as well as the raising of my children. My parents did their best as well as I but when the totality of your life is not fully understood, it puts a huge strain on your ability to genuinely feel loved, appreciated or celebrated.
I am dually sure that this is a trick of the enemy to invoke a sense of inferiority towards the offspring, as well as plant a seed of doubt; having worn for 13 years the badge of a worthless mother, surely is is now all coming into full fruition. These are my current thoughts. This is my current feeling. This is my momentary truth. HOWEVER, because I am reminded that
1. feelings are not facts and
2. hurting people hurt people,
I [choose] to hold to God's truth. I was created by Him and Romans 8:28 becomes more relevant to my life.
I wonder as Mother's Day approaches, how many women can openly admit that this isn't necessarily a celebratory day for them, yet they can celebrate the day because they know who they are in Him.